Void
by Mrs.J.Rathbone
Summary: When Alice and Edward are killed during the battle with the newborns, Jasper vows to help Bella overcome her pain. Will their shared grief form a new bond between them? First story so sorry the sumary isn't that great!
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This is my first shot at writing fanfiction, so please bare with me. Hopefully I will be updating with new chapters once a week, unless i feel inspired. I dont know how long this story is going to get yet, but I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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BPOV

My eyes saw the flames burning before me and my ears heard the cries of anguish from all around me, but my mind, or the small part of my mind that still clung desperately to the last shreds of sanity, refused to believe the truth my senses presented me with. It was better this way, safe inside my mind, there was no pain here; reality couldn't touch me here I was numb, but I was safe and I could pretend that my eyes were deceiving me, because I didn't want to believe them, I didn't want to believe that my Edward was dead, because I didn't want to live in a world that didn't have him in it.

JPOV

Something had gone terribly wrong, this wasn't how it was supposed to go; Alice had said that we would be ok, that none of us would be hurt. Did she know? Had she seen? Had she hidden this from us to spare us the pain? Surely there was another way, something we could have done differently to prevent this from happening. I shouldn't have left her side, she had told me that Bella needed me, she had begged me to help her and I couldn't refuse her. I should have seen it in her eyes, in her touch, the way it had lingered as if she was saying goodbye. So here I sat on the ground, crippled by the waves of sorrow and loss that were coming from my family. We had lost so much today and I didn't know how we would ever be able to get over it, and as I watched the faces of my family gathered around the fire that had claimed my beloved Alice and Edward, I felt each of their pain. As I thought of my brother, my eyes sought out Bella, she would not be handling this well I knew, I almost didn't want to think of the amount of pain that would be emanating from her, but I had to know that she was ok. When my eyes found her I prepared myself for the pain, but felt nothing, and that sacred me more, it was like she empty, the girl that had always been full of life and warmth was now devoid of any emotion. I started moving towards her then, I had to know that she was ok, I could not fail in this, it was the only thing that Alice had left me with, and I vowed that I would save this girl from whatever torment she was suffering, I vowed that I would see her smile again if it was the last thing I ever did. I realised then that I needed Bella to be happy, I needed to see her smile, because in some way, if I could do this then my loss would not seem so heavy, because I knew that this is what my Alice would have wanted.

When I reached her and stood before her, my fear from earlier returned tenfold, as I stood in front of her looking into her eyes, she didn't even see me though I was only inches away it was like I didn't exist to her. And her eyes usually so deep and full of life, were empty. I had to get her back; I had to know that she was still there, so I grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently.

_Bella?... Bella can you hear me?_

When she didn't respond, I shook her harder. I needed to hear her voice, even if it was only to cry, anything would be better than the emptiness I felt now. I started screaming her name as I shook her and the rest of the family must have noticed by now, as the next thing I felt was Emmet's arms around me as he dragged me away from Bella.

_What do you think you are doing? You could have killed her! I know you are hurting man, we all are, but do you really think that hurting Bella will make you feel any better? She's lost someone too Jasper, if anything she is the only one who will know how you are feeling!..._

_But she's not!..._

_Just because she's human doesn't mean that she doesn't feel!_

_No... I mean she's not feeling anything! I can't feel anything off of her, it like she empty!_

As I finished I saw Carlisle quickly move to take the spot I had just been dragged from, as Emmet released me.

_Sorry man, I didn't know... I just saw you shaking her like that and thought that maybe you snapped from the grief, it can't be easy for you, feeling your own loss and then having to feel all of ours on top of that._

_It's ok, it's hard but I can deal. Right now I'm only concerned with helping Bella; I need her to be ok._

That last one slipped out, I hadn't meant to reveal that my reasons for wanting to help Bella stemmed from anything other than brotherly concern, But Emmet picked up on my choice of words and gave me a questioning look, but thankfully kept quiet as we moved closer to Bella.

_Carlisle, is she going to be ok?_

_I don't know son, I think she may be in denial, I think her brain has shut down to protect itself from the pain._

_But how is she still standing there with her eyes open? Shouldn't she be unconscious?_

_I don't know son, generally yes, when the brain shuts down to protect itself after mass trauma the body shuts down as well. I fear that in this case she may have entered into a catatonic state._

_But what do we do? This can't be good for her? We have to get her out of it!_

_Yes, I agree, remaining in this state for too long could prove detrimental to her health, and I do have an idea of how we can get her out of it, but it won't be pleasant and I don't know for certain that it will help, it could make her worse._

_What is it? We have to try; we can't just leave her like this!_

_It's something you have to do son, her mind is rejecting the pain, so in order to bring her back she needs to feel that pain._

_I don't understand what do you want me to do?_

_I need you to project all the pain you are feeling onto her and hopefully the shock of it will bring her back._

_No! I can't do that, it's too much, she couldn't handle her own pain, how will she be able to deal with all of our combined pain thrust onto her? I won't do it! It's too much!_

_There's no other way son, she has to feel the pain if she has any hope of ever overcoming it, and if her mind won't allow that, then we will have to make her feel it, it's the only way._

_Ok._

I sighed in defeat as I drew in everyone's pain and moved closer putting my hand on the bare skin of Bella's arm and pushed it all onto her, all the pain and anguish and loss that we felt. As soon as I let my power loose Bella screamed and dropped to her knees, I immediately ceased using my power on her and dropped to the ground next to her and gathered her in my arms as she continued to scream. I whispered reassurances in her ear as I held her, until finally the screaming stopped, only to be replaced by her heartbreaking sobs as she allowed herself to feel her own loss. Now that she was crying in my arms and I could feel her pain, it was too much, it was so much more than I had expected from any human, it rivalled my own pain, and that along with everyone else's made me breakdown in my own tearless sobs.

We stayed that way for what seemed like hours until I was finally able to rain in my grief enough to pick us up of the ground as we slowly made our way back to the house. Bella had fallen asleep in my arms as we had sat holding onto each other in the clearing, and for that I was grateful as it presented me with a brief break from the onslaught of her emotions. When we reached the house, I took her up to one of the guest bedrooms, I wasn't ready to go into mine and Alice's room yet, and I knew that Bella would not want to wake up in Edwards's room only to be reminded that he wouldn't be there to greet her as she awoke. As I went to lay her on the bed to let her sleep and my arms let go of her, she whimpered and began crying out, she was still asleep, but as soon as I pulled her into my arms once more she quieted down and fell back into a deep sleep. So I stayed and held this fragile human girl in my arms as she slept, and not once throughout this time did my control waver, the thought of hurting her was too much to bare so my thirst was not an issue, I knew that I could never and would never do anything that would cause her pain. I would shelter and protect her from anything that sought to harm her, for she was my life now, she was my reason for continuing on in this existence and I would not fail her.

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry this chapter isn't very big, and also a little repetitive, I wanted to show what they were both feeling. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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BPOV

When I woke up and felt a pair of cold arms wrapped around me, I thought it had all been a terrible dream, so I snuggled closer and smiled as I waited for my Edward to greet me with his usual velvet voice.

_Bella?_

But when I heard my name, my world came crashing down on me once more. It hadn't been a dream; I wasn't safe in Edwards's arms. Edward was gone.

_Bella... Bella please say something? I know it hurts, I know you must feel like the world has ended, that you'll never find happiness again, but I'm here, please let me help you... I need to help you Bella or I'll be swallowed by the pain. I lost everything too Bella! I know exactly how you feel, please let me in..._

His voice was barely a whisper as he finished talking, the pain had been evident in his voice as he spoke and I was afraid to open my eyes for fear that seeing that pain reflected in his eyes would be too much to bare. As I thought of Jasper in so much pain I remembered Alice and the pain once more threatened to drag me down into the abyss, but I fought against it. I wasn't the only one that had lost so much, here Jasper was, holding me together, feeling all my pain, when his must be so much deeper. I couldn't continue hurting him in this way. He had brought me out of the darkness and I had to help him.

_Jasper..._

My voice came out as barely a whisper as it threatened to break from the impending tears that would inevitably fall. It seems that was all I had been doing lately, I had been selfish and I had hurt my family. They had all lost so much and here I was oblivious to anything but my own pain.

_Bella please don't feel that way..._

_I..._

_No, listen to me! You are not selfish, no one expects anything from you Bella, you have lost so much, and it's only natural that you think of yourself throughout this._

_I'm so sorry Jasper, you must be hurting so much right now, and being with me can't be helping you. I'll be ok if you want to leave..._

_Bella, I'm not going anywhere... please believe me when I say there is nowhere else I want to be! Being with you helps, you're the only one who knows exactly how I feel... So please don't push me away, let me help you._

_Jasper I..._

Then the tears finally fell and I couldn't speak anymore. Then I felt Jasper wrap his arms around me tighter and pull closer to him. As I cried I felt his body gently shake as he held me, and I knew that he must have succumbed to his own pain as well. So I wrapped my arms around him tighter to let him know that he wasn't alone and that I would help him just as he was helping me.

JPOV

I watched as she slept curled safely in my arms, I listened to the steady beating of her heart and felt her small breath release against my chest where her head lay. Whenever she showed any sign of distress I would send her waves of what little calm I could muster and she would settle back into a deep sleep. I knew she needed rest so I helped her sleep throughout the night. In the morning I heard her breathing change and I knew that she would be waking up, so I prepared myself to deal with her emotions. What I felt from her shocked me though, the only emotions coming from her were relief, contentment and love, and I felt her tiny arms wrap around me as she pulled herself closer to my body, and when her tiny hand found my bare skin on my side where my t-shirt had ridden up during the night, the heat was almost too much. I had to move, this couldn't be good, she probably thought she had been dreaming and that I was Edward, and for a brief moment I wanted to be, I wanted to be the person to make her feel this way, to make her happy again, but I wasn't.

_Bella?_

I needed her to know that it was me holding her, letting her continue to believe that Edward was still with her would only hurt her more when she remembered what had happened. When she heard my voice I felt her emotions shift immediately back to the unbearable pain and loss that I had felt from her only yesterday.

_Bella... Bella please say something? I know it hurts, I know you must feel like the world has ended, that you'll never find happiness again, but I'm here, please let me help you... I need to help you Bella or I'll be swallowed by the pain. I lost everything too Bella! I know exactly how you feel, please let me in..._

_Jasper..._

When she finally spoke her voice was barely a whisper and I could hear the tears threatening to fall and then I was hit with a new emotion from her... guilt, this just confused me. I didn't understand why she would feel this way. Surely she couldn't blame herself for the battle, when we had spoken before the battle about her fears, the whole family had reassured her that she was a part of our family now and we would protect her, and any guilty feeling she had, had evaporated. But why the guilt now? Then it hit me, being the selfless creature that she is she probably felt bad for allowing herself to be consumed with her own pain when the rest of us must be suffering just as much, if not more. I wouldn't allow this to continue, she had to know that it was ok to think of herself for once, and that I was here for her.

_Bella please don't feel that way..._

_I..._

_No, listen to me! You are not selfish, no one expects anything from you Bella, you have lost so much, it's only natural that you think of yourself throughout this._

_I'm so sorry Jasper, you must be hurting so much right now, and being with me can't be helping you. I'll be ok if you want to leave..._

_Bella, I'm not going anywhere... please believe me when I say there is nowhere else I want to be! Being with you helps, you're the only one who knows exactly how I feel... So please don't push me away, let me help you._

_Jasper I..._

She didn't manage to finish as the tears finally fell and her small body was wracked by her silent sobs. So I pulled her back to me and wrapped my arms around her, offering what comfort I could to her before her pain dragged me under and I felt my own tearless sobs run through my body. Bella must have felt this too as she wrapped her arms around me and I felt her compassion. She was helping me now, just as I was helping her, and I knew in that moment that as long as we were together we would get through this and I found hope that someday we would both be able to smile once again.

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**Review and let me know if you like the direction this story is going in, or if you have any sugestions! thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's chapter 3 while I'm still inspired. You should know that the updates wont always be so close together. I dont want to spoil you. **

**This chapter was suposed to be the reunion whith the rest of the family, but it took to long for them to get ready so that will come in the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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JPOV

I don't know how long passed before Bella finally quieted, but it must have been getting late. As we sat there quietly drawing whatever comfort we could from each other, I heard Esme remind me from downstairs that Bella should eat something to maintain her strength as it had been over a day since her last meal. I tried to gently pull away from Bella so I could speak, but she wouldn't let go. I knew how she felt, these past few hours as we had sat in silence the pain had seemed almost bearable, we weren't drowning anymore; we were still struggling but the coast was in sight.

_Bella?_

Trying to move once more only resulted in Bella wrapping herself around me even tighter.

_Bella... I'm not going anywhere, but you really need to eat. Esme has made you some pasta. Do you think you are ready to go downstairs?_

As I spoke, I felt Bella apprehension rise, but worst of all was the utter sense of worthlessness she radiated. This only served to make me angry. So I pulled away from her as gently as I could and grabbed her face between my hands so she was looking at me.

_Bella! This has to stop! You are a part of this family and we all love you, you have to know that none of this was your fault_

_But it is my fault; I caused this pain, all of it! If you had stayed away like Edward wanted, he would still be alive... Alice would still be alive._

_You are wrong Bella, you saved Edward remember! You faced the most powerful of our kind and brought Edward back to his family. But even without any of that Bella, you would have died! Victoria would have come after you and she would have killed you. Do you think Edward would have been able to go on living this life with the knowledge that he could have prevented your death! Do you think any of us would have! You aren't only a part of this family Bella, you are our heart, you are what keeps us together, and none of us could bare it if we lost you. So please... you have to stop feeling this way. Please allow us to love you Bella..._

BPOV

The intensity in his eyes as he spoke shocked me. We had never been close before, never spoken more than a few words to each other, but here we were holding each other together. Things we different now, in the past 24 hours as we held onto each other something had grown between us, there was a bond and though I couldn't give it a name yet I knew that it was stronger than anything I had felt before. So as I drowned in the intensity of his eyes, I finally believed, I knew without a doubt that the words he had spoken were true. I finally felt like I belonged, that I was loved, that I deserved to be loved. In the past no matter how many times I had been told that I was worthy of their love I had never believed it, but now staring at the fire burning in Jaspers eyes I finally felt like I was right where I was meant to be. This was my family, and I loved them all so dearly.

JPOV

As I spoke my eyes burned into hers, desperately trying to convey the message my words held. I had to make her understand, that this is where she belonged, that we were her family and that we would never leave her. And as I finished speaking still lost in each other's eyes, I finally felt it, I felt her acceptance and her joy but most of all I felt her love, and it was beautiful, it was like a warm wave washing over me and I wanted to sink into it and stay forever but I had more pressing matters.

_So, now that you've stopped being so stubborn do you think you are ready to venture downstairs? I know that everyone is really worried about you and they would really like to see you... And you really should eat something, you must be starving!_

Right on cue her stomach gave a loud grumble and she blushed with embarrassment, but nodded and slowly made to get up of the bed.

_Ok, just give me a minute I need to take a shower, I've been in these clothes all night and I must look really gross!_

A small smile made its way to her lips as she said this, it didn't reach her eyes but it was a start.

_You could never look gross._

I smiled at her.

_But I think you are right, we have been in these clothes for too long. So how about we both go get ourselves cleaned up, and then meet back here so we can face the family together?_

She nodded and rushed into the bathroom to get cleaned, as I made my way to Carlisle and Esme's room to use their shower, I knew they wouldn't mind. I finished with my shower quickly and got myself dressed in some of Carlisle clothes they didn't fit as good as my own, but I still wasn't ready to venture into my own room to retrieve some clean clothes. When I was finished I walked back to the guest bedroom and heard that Bella was still in the shower, that's when I realised that she didn't have any clean clothes in here. I knew where I could find her clothes and though it would be tough to go into his room, it would be even tougher for her. When I reached his door and opened it, I was assaulted by his scent, it was everywhere, so I rushed around grabbing everything Bella would need and left the room shutting his scent back inside before my mind had a chance to fall back into the pain of his loss. I quickly headed back to our room and left the clothes on the bed for her to find when she got out, and left the room to wait for her outside.

I heard the shower stop and a few minutes later I heard the door to the bathroom open and shut before I was hit with a wave of gratitude from within, which made me smile, glad that I could help her in this small way. I listened to the sounds of her dressing and when I was sure she was done I gently knocked on the door before I entered.

_Are you ready?_

_I think so... Thank you for the clothes._

_It's no problem Bella; we wouldn't want you walking around naked now would we!_

_Very funny!_

_I thought so! Shall we go?_

I held out my hand for her and she nodded before wrapping her tiny finger around mine as we headed down to meet our family.

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**Thanks for reading reviews are always appreciated! Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but I'm having more trouble writing the rest of the family, so I thought I would let you have what i wrote so far as it seemed to reach a conclusion in my eyes. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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BPOV

I took his hand as he led me down the stairs, where the family awaited us. As my eyes scanned the waiting faces, worry love and understanding evident on their faces, I was no longer burdened by my overwhelming guilt and so was able to fully comprehend the depth of love this family had for me and I felt truly blessed to be able to call them my own. I could feel the tears beginning to form, but before I even had a chance to fight them away, I was in Esme's strong embrace. No words were necessary, and I gladly accepted the comfort she offered. I had always felt safe in Esme's arms, and right now she truly was my mother, so I let her hold me as I cried.

JPOV

As I lead her down the stairs I felt none of the guilt that had plagued her earlier, and it made me happy that I was finally able to convince her that she truly was a part of our family. As I watched her scan the faces of our family, I felt a strong wave of love pour from her; sure the pain was still there, as I am sure it will be for quite some time, but there was love too. I quickly scanned trough my memories and realised that this had always been the case with Bella, the one constant in her emotions had always been an ever-present sense of love.

I could see the tears forming in the corners of her eyes but before I had a chance to even move, she was in Esme's arms, held in a close embrace. Esme had never seemed more like a mother than she did right now, holding this wonderful creature in her arms offering her what only a mother could. Watching them like this brought a smile to my lips, I could feel the sense of contentment gradually grow within Bella, and the shear feeling of Joy that radiated from Esme was truly magnificent. Esme had always feared that our nature would eventually scare Bella away, but seeing Bella truly embrace her as a daughter and the trust that shone in her eyes whenever she was with them, made her truly happy.

As soon as Bella ceased crying, the rest of the family that had stayed at a distance so as not to intrude on the moment slowly approached. Esme gently pulled away from Bella so she could look at her face and placed a hand softly on her cheek.

_Are you ok Bella? I know this must be very hard for you, and the pain must be unbearable as it is for all of us, but know that we are here for you honey and we all love you very much._

_I love you too mom, all of you..._

Right then I was hit with such a strong wave of pride and joy from Esme, it was almost overwhelming! It was similar to what she felt when any of us would call her "mom", though it didn't happen very often, but it was so much stronger this time and I knew that it was because this was the first time Bella had called her such. That one word right then meant more to Esme than Bella could even begin to comprehend, and I felt that it had helped her take a big step towards overcoming the pain of the loss of two of her children.

_I'm coping, thank you. Jasper has been a great help, I don't know what I would have done without him, without all of you, thank you for loving me..._

_No Bella, thank you for allowing us to love you, thank you for accepting us as your family._

_Thank you Carlisle, your words are more than I deserve, but I'm glad for them. I truly do believe that this is where I belong, with this family, forever..._

BPOV

I never managed to finish that sentence as Emmett chose that moment to pull me into one of his signature bear hugs. Emmett truly was the joy in our family; he knew exactly how to lift our mood, and when we needed it most.

_Aww, baby sis! We love you too! Though I fear if we have anymore more of these emotional confessions we might actually get to witness the first ever crying vampire! On second thought, that would be quite cool, so keep going! I want to see who cracks first; my bets are on Esme but I think Carlisle might be a close second!!_

I couldn't help the laughter that broke through then, and gradually it infected the whole room. Emmett truly was an amazing brother. He knew exactly what to do or say to lift my spirits when I was down, and I truly did love him as if he was my true brother. I had always wanted an older brother and now I had him, and I would not change him for the world. When my laughter died down I looked up to see Jasper smiling warmly at me. He truly was radiant when he smiled; this was the first time I had seen him smile like this and I didn't understand why he didn't do more often. Even before all that had happened I had never seen him like this, I could almost feel heat pulsing through the room from that smile. I wanted to see more of it, he had helped me so much this past day, though I knew he had his own pain to deal with, and I was glad to see that he was still able to smile so warmly; so I vowed to myself that I would do what I could to see him smile like that again.

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**Thanks for reading, I'll try and make the next chapter longer! Let me know what you thought!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry this update took a bit longer, also sorry to those of you that prfer longer chapters, but hopefully you'll forgive me if i give you small chapters more often rather than having to wait for a long chapter. So I hope you enjoy the latest instalment, this is for those of you who reviewed asking where Rosalie was in the last chapter, hope i did her justice!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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EsPOV

One word, just one small word can heal your heart. After everything she has faced and the monstrosities she has witnessed, this one human girl surprises me every day with her capacity to love. When she had said it, I don't think she realized its effect on me, it had seemed so natural to her; and that just made it all the more potent. That this girl could see me as her mother after everything she had seen, touched my heart, and somehow the pain of the loss we had suffered seemed to dim. It was still there, it always would be, but she had made it bearable to go on living.

_I made you some pasta; do you think you are ready to eat something?_

_I think so, thank you._

_It's my pleasure honey, you know how much I enjoy being able to cook for you._

When she smiled it was infectious, it radiated warmth, and I saw the answering smiles on the faces of my family; they felt it too. As we watched her eat a sense of calm passed over us which had nothing to do with my sons ability, it was all Bella, she brought us peace; and I knew then that had she not survived our family would have crumbled, she is what brings us together, we had never been closer than we were right now.

BPOV

As I sat eating I felt their eyes on me, but for once it didn't bother me, it made me feel special and cared for. Everyone was quiet but it wasn't uncomfortable, it was just peaceful, serene, I knew they felt it too and I would not deny them this time. When I was finished my plate was gone before I could move and I saw Esme quickly wash it before putting it away. When I stood I saw their eyes follow me, waiting expectantly for my next move, and it all became a little too much, I didn't want to disappoint them, but I couldn't handle the looks, I didn't know what to do anymore than they did, and I could feel myself start to crumble once more under the pressure. Jasper must have noticed the change in my emotions, because he moved closer to me and placed his hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles.

_Do you want to go back upstairs and rest some more?_

I nodded and he started leading me towards the stairs and away from the rest of the family. When we reached the stairs I turned to wish the family goodnight, but was shocked when I was met by Rosalie standing right behind me. I gasped and jumped back slightly from the shock, but the resulting look of hurt on Rosalie's face made me feel immediately ashamed of my reaction.

_I'm sorry I reacted that way Rosalie, I just didn't expect you to be behind me and it took me by surprise that's all._

_I'm sorry Bella, it's not like I've ever done anything to earn your trust..._

_But I do trust you Rose, it's just my stupid human reflexes, you all move so quietly that I didn't hear you approach me, I would have had the same reaction to any of you. I'm sorry._

_You don't have to apologise Bella, I know I've never been very nice to you but...I..._

_It's ok Rose, you were just trying to protect your family. You are my sister Rose, my only sister now... and I understand completely that you were just doing what you thought was right, it doesn't make you a bad person Rose, it makes you a better person and I love you for it._

Right then she pulled me into her arms and I felt her body shake under the force of her sobs. I was touched that she had made this step to talk to me, and that she trusted me enough to let loose and cry on my shoulder.

_It's ok Rose, you didn't know me then, I'm just so glad that you are willing to now._

_I'm so sorry Bella... I'm so sorry, I was selfish, I didn't want to share my family, but I'm so happy you are going to be my sister Bella. I promise I'll be good from now on, thank you for being so understanding._

_Thank you Rose, I really do love you like my sister and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better._

She nodded as she moved away from me and back to Emmett's waiting arms. I looked back to Jasper who was smiling as he reached out his hand to me. Once he had my hand in his I turned and wished the family goodnight as he led me up the stairs to our room.

JPOV

When I had first felt Rosalie approach Bella, I had been worried, I knew Rosalie had never really liked Bella and I didn't want her to say something that would upset her, she was fragile enough to begin with. When I felt her emotions though I was reassured. As I watched their exchange I was once again amazed by Bella's capacity to love and to forgive, and for the first time I felt Rosalie's emotions shift to love for Bella. Witnessing this shift made me happy and I couldn't help my resulting smile, Rosalie and I had always been close, to the rest of the world she was my twin and it had formed a bond between us. I was happy that she was allowing herself to feel the love that Bella offered so freely, I knew it would help her as it had helped the rest of us.

When Bella wished the family goodnight, I added my own and lead her back to our room. I had felt her resolve threaten to break under the weight of our expectant stares and knew that she would not have lasted much longer, so I had suggested we retreat back to the room and she had agreed. When we reached the room I opened the door and lead her in before closing the door behind us. Once we were inside I felt apprehension rise within Bella as she looked at the bed and her grip on my hand got tighter. I knew she couldn't sleep on her own, but was to selfless to ask anything of me, so I picked her up and took her over to the bed laying her down still in my arms as I took my place on the bed. It warmed my heart when she tilted her head up to smile at me and her gratitude washed over me, so I moved my hand to cup her cheek as I bid her goodnight.

_It's been a long day Bella, sleep now and I'll be here when you wake up._

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**Thanks for reading, hope you liked! Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry, once again this chapter had a life of it's own, and while i intended to discuss her return to Charlie's and the funeral, the characters had other ideas. So the rest of the details will have to wait till the next chapter. Anyway, thanks for bearing with me so far, and for those of you who reviewed, thanks for the support! Hope you like the latest chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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JPOV

I held Bella throughout the night, calming her whenever necessary, it had been difficult for her to face the family today for the first time, but she did magnificently. I could still feel her pain strongly, but it was no longer the only emotion she felt, she was slowly healing; we both were.

Sometime during the night I heard Carlisle speaking to me from outside our room, he wanted me to know that they had taken care of the cover story for the eyes of the rest of the world and had arranged for a small private memorial service in three days.

_Do you want us to speak to Bella when she wakes up son? She is expected to go back to her house tomorrow and she needs to know what to tell Charlie._

_No... I'll tell her, I don't know how she'll take it and I want to be able to calm her if necessary._

_Ok son, I understand, but please don't hesitate to come to us if there is anything we can do to help you. Know that we love you and we are here for you._

_Thank you dad, I won't._

I heard him leave as I contemplated what I would tell Bella. I realised that there would have to be a cover story to explain their death and the lack of bodies; a car crash probably, as that had been the plan for faking Bella's death after she was changed. I was very grateful that the family had already taken care of everything, as I don't think I would have been able to. As for the funeral, I had to admit I was afraid, though we had managed to make it through a day without breaking down, I didn't know how we would make it through the onslaught of memories the funeral would invoke without the pain becoming too much to bare.

Charlie however; that had surprised me; I had forgotten about him while we had stayed in the safe little bubble our room provided us. I didn't know if I would be able to hold it together without Bella with me, her presence had a calming effect on me and I knew that without her the grief would become too much to bare. I also knew that she needed me, even if only to sleep, but she still needed me and I would not deny her what little help I could offer. I would have to discuss it with her when she awoke, maybe I could convince her to stay, it would be so much more convenient to have her here with us; or I could stay in her room with her, but I felt that wouldn't be enough as that would mean we only had the nights together, and I needed more. With that final thought I heard Bella's breathing change, signalling that she would be waking up soon.

_Bella darlin'..._

I whispered not wanting to scare her. Darlin'? Where had that come from? I knew that our time together had formed a bond between us, but it wasn't one that I had a name for, not yet anyway. But the endearment had come out so naturally which only confused me more, now was not the time though, I had things to do.

_Bella? How are you this morning?_

_Better, thank you._

_Bella, I have some things I need to talk to you about, are you ok as you are, or do you need a moment?_

_I... I think I need a moment... sorry._

She rushed of the bed and into the bathroom before I had a chance to answer. As she left I felt her fear rise, battling for dominance over her pain. I didn't know why she was suddenly so afraid, but I had to fix it, she didn't need to feel that way, she was safe here with me, I would never let anything hurt her. So I got up off the bed and made my way to the bathroom door, when I reached it I listened for the sounds coming from behind it and heard Bella crying.

_Bella? Bella honey are you ok? Why are you crying?_

_I'm ok..._

_I can hear you Bella, I know you're not ok... please let me in... Please let me help you!_

I couldn't keep the desperation from my voice as I pleaded with her, but she didn't answer and her sobs only got louder. I couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't bear to listen to her sobs and feel her pain, while not being able to draw her into my arms and hold her. I needed to help her, and not just for her, I needed to help her for me, because helping her was what was keeping me together.

_Bella honey... I'm coming in ok?_

I pushed open the door, breaking the lock and rushed over to her side and pulled her into my arms, setting her on my lap as she nuzzled her face into the side of my neck, wrapping her arms around me and bringing herself as close to me as she could. I revelled in the renewed sensation of her warmth against me while I waited for her to calm down.

_Bella... why are you so afraid? You know I would never hurt you right?_

_I know Jasper, I trust you. I'm not afraid of you..._

_Then what is it?_

_It's just... I..._

_Please Bella..._

_When you said that you wanted to talk I got scared._

_Why Bella?_

_I thought you were finally sick of me... I though you would ask me to leave..._

_Never Bella, I could never be sick of you! Please don't ever feel that way! I need you Bella; you're what's keeping me together..._

_I... thank you... thank you for being here for me._

_I always will be Bella, until the day you ask me to leave._

_Never..._

She whispered softly as she curled further into my arms. I don't know how much time passed while we sat on the bathroom floor, but I wasn't complaining, lately I had felt far more comfortable when Bella was in my arms that when she wasn't, and I would relish every moment fate presented me with such an opportunity. When she had calmed down completely, she moved her head to look at me before speaking.

_So what was it you wanted to talk to about before I so rudely interrupted with my little crying fit!_

_I... I spoke with Carlisle while you were sleeping, and he reminded me of a few things..._

_What things?_

_He told me you were supposed to be going back to Charlie's today... and he wanted me to tell you the cover story so you can tell Charlie..._

_I... I can't go back; I can't stay in that room... please don't make me go! Please don't make me leave! Please!_

_Shh... Its ok honey, breathe, I won't make you do anything you're not ready for ok? Please calm down darlin', I'm here for you._

Fresh tears fell from her eyes as the panic in her grew to an almost dangerous level, and I feared she would hyperventilate if I didn't do something soon, so as I held her rubbing soothing circles on her back, I pushed a wave of lethargy onto her, feeling it was the best way to calm her down and stop her from hurting herself. I felt her fall asleep in my arms, and stood to carry her back over to the bed and lay back down with her in my arms. I would need to speak to the rest of the family before Bella woke up, but that could wait a little while longer; right now all I wanted to concentrate on the girl sleeping in my arms.

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